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    老公和媳婦究竟誰更苦?

    來源:網絡收集 閱讀次數:

      這年頭,家庭的第一殺手是“第三者”;第二殺手差不多就屬“婆媳戰爭”。

      丈夫自述:婆媳大戰夾在中間難做人

      柯老師:您好!

      我今年三十歲,與妻子是戀愛結婚的,婚后感情不錯,有件事卻非常苦惱,就是妻子和我母親的關系。現說給您聽聽,請幫我分析一下。

      我家在農村,大學畢業后分配到城市工作,和許多人一樣,戀愛了一個城市女孩,一年后簡單辦了婚事。

      結了婚,自然要見公婆。到現在為止,妻子跟我回過三次家,但每次回家都鬧得很不高興。

      第一次回家:

      那是我們旅游結婚后一起回的家。正趕上秋收,家里人整天在地里干活,自然顧不上招呼妻子。我做兒子的不可能袖手旁觀,也起早貪黑地跟著干。妻子從小在城里長大,干不了農活,但在家里也不能閑著,每天做飯喂豬收拾場院,累得連飯都吃不下。這讓她頗有怨言,覺得父母不把她當回事,沒有享受到新娘的待遇。

      第二次回家:

      婚后的第一個春節我們又一起回家了。一天晚上吃過飯,媽媽提起兩年前因妹妹生病向親戚借的五千元錢,說我們已在城里安家,錢總好掙一點,想讓我們代為償還。我覺得父母將我養大不容易,理該對他們有所報答,當下也沒和妻子商量,就一口答應了。

      因為這件事,妻子想不通,和我發生了多次爭吵,覺得誰的債誰還,我們沒有這個義務。但吵歸吵,妻子回來后還是讓我把錢寄給了家里。這件事雖然過去了,妻子和我父母有了隔閡。

      第三次回家:

      去年父親因病去世,我與妻子回家奔喪。媽媽想讓我多住些日子陪陪她,又提到弟弟已經成年,父親不在了,婚事應當由我這個當大哥的來主持。您一定知道,農村辦婚事,蓋房、聘禮和酒筵花費相當驚人,這對剛剛成家不久的我來說,的確是一個沉重的負擔。

      妻子想不通,說我們的房子要還貸款,近兩年還打算要孩子,經濟上根本不寬裕。又說當年我們結婚,回鄉下時不僅未得一分聘禮,還跟著收莊稼干農活。弟弟的事情她沒有義務,也拿不出那么多錢。

      為這個,妻子和我發生了激烈爭吵,甚至驚動了母親。

      我被夾在中間,左右不是人。母親罵我“娶了媳婦忘了娘”,妻子罵我“胳膊肘往外拐”。

      有了這三次不愉快的經歷,妻子不僅再也不愿和我一同回老家,給弟弟操辦婚事更成為禁忌的話題。原本很和美的夫妻關系被罩上了一層陰影,三天兩頭就會發生爭吵,我自己也被她從家里趕出了很多次。(不怕你恥笑,我也許是嚴重的妻管嚴吧?)

      眼下春節將至,別人都期待著回家團聚,我卻一天比一天苦惱。十幾年前我還在讀書,哥哥由于重病早早離開了人世,現在父親也撒手人寰,母親遭受了很多別人不曾遭受的苦痛,我現在是母親的大兒子,理應報答她的養育之恩。

      但我不知該如何和妻子溝通,也無法讓她理解我心中的種種感受。我不想當個不肖之子,也不想日后被鄉親們戳脊梁骨。可有時和妻子吵過之后,一個人走在街上,想想每月的房供,再想想有了孩子以后的吃穿教育費用,心里也如一團亂麻。

      但無論如何,老家是一定要回的。如果她不愿和我一起回老家,我就自己回去,即使因為這件事兩人分手,春節我也是一定要回去的,對嗎?

      期待您的回復,謝謝!(谷子)

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